PA’s – Listen up, you might not like this!

As you all may have noticed, my PA articles are a hot ticket on this site. I have another one for ya, brace yourself. You may have missed the vaguebooking memo that I posted a few days ago, clearly stating that I was sick and tired of the bullshit lies developed only to bring self-gratification to the liar in the bunch. I helped collaborate on a blog post recently, and I know the message was delivered, but what happened after the blog was the eye opening part.

As a PA, we have responsibilities. With responsibility comes accountability. What does that mean? Well, if you are asking yourself that question, please continue and pay attention – you are the one that I am talking to.

Think about this.

There are certain occupations that are plagued with questionable ethics from the get go. For example: car salesman, lawyer, insurance broker, banker and mechanic, just to name a few. There is a reason that these occupations immediately raise a red flag and it has to do with the way that they choose to conduct business, right? So, basically, if you are going to buy a car and the salesman starts offering you extras and tacking on things you don’t need, would you be surprised? No. No, you wouldn’t. A mechanic is the perfect example of business ethics hell. Let’s say that you go in for your oil change and they start talking tires, brakes, coolant, wiper blades, discs, rotors, batteries, and whatever else they think they can get you to give them more money, right?

To my point, there are many integrity-challenged car salesmen and mechanics out there, that we have all dealt with at one time or another. Because of this experience, we rarely take the advice of a mechanic due to what we have either experienced or others have rumored about.

This holds no bearing to the indie world, right? You couldn’t be more wrong. The actions of others in the same career as I am, have decided to add ‘author PA’ to that list. Who’d have thought that being a PA would be a questionable occupation? Ahhh, there are a few PA’s out there that are as detrimental to this job as a bad mechanic or salesmen. Just like honest mechanics, there are good PA’s. The problem is that the rumor mill fills with a little unleaded and starts spitting shit out of it like a kid after Halloween. Shit everywhere, and no one knows where to start with cleaning it up.

PA’s – This is for you.

I am a PA first. You can ask anyone that knows me, including my co-author, that has waited days for a chapter from me because I had an event to plan or a book to beta, I will always be a PA before I am an author and I take my job very seriously. This is why I get so fucking pissed off when I see an author being abandoned or dismissed for the next best thing. This isn’t a playground for people to be a super star and take on as many authors as you can, knowing damn well you can’t handle the work load. Having five authors isn’t a respectable thing to do.

We, as PA’s, know you are not doing what you are being asked to do. How do we know this? Because we know what FB jail looks like after pimping ONE author per day. If you are lucky, you might be able to squeeze in a couple street team posts before being locked away for 2 weeks. We know that you haven’t read the books you are promoting because there is ZERO excitement in your posts or comments. We know you are not fully supporting ALL of your authors to the potential that you are needed because they are asking PA’s, like me, for help when you get burnt out and can’t suck your pride up enough to admit it. They would rather make up a “poor me” story and ACTUALLY convince people to buy the wheelbarrow full of horse shit LIES you have concocted! SHAME ON YOU!!!

Good PA’s aren’t stupid and the smart ones don’t want to make any waves either. Why? Because we are a direct reflection of our author(s). I have faced the one thing with this job that will follow me forever, my name will always be “Kyle’s PA.” Do I care? Nope, because as I am a reflection of him – he is a direct reflection of me. It’s how it works. So, remember that the next time you want to talk shit about your author. Maybe they are choosing NOT to talk shit about you.

When you bad mouth an author that you once worked for, you are reminding your new author that it will happen to them next. If they are over 19 years old, they will see it as a warning sign and they will start to look at the bigger picture. Some authors are so desperate for help that they hire you just because you are cheap and willing, but there is no forethought to the future of their own career. Congrats – you are like the drunk girl at a frat party that has a little bit of black mail because you were trusted but you have no loyalty.

They actually hired you because you were willing to help them, build their business, support them and create an empire of their own (not yours). There is a difference and the job needs to be taken very seriously. Does that sound like an easy job? If you answered “YES” you need to click here.

I have heard horror stories about PA’s jumping ship because things got hard, they had another offer that sounded cooler at the time, the next male author summoned you (dick chaser) … Trust me, I have seen it all. You can deny it all you want, it’s true.

Authors – This is for you – 

If you hire a PA, know their background. You are handing everything over to a person that you may have never met and know nothing about. Ask around the community – I guarantee there are forums for this. Most PA’s can provide references, prior work related skills, and success rates. If they cannot, reconsider this person immediately. Hell, facebook stalk them. If their wall is covered in whiny, bitch posts (especially about a fellow author) filled with comments supporting a behavior you would rather not have representing you, I’d move on.

Also, keep in mind, unless you treat your PA like shit, it is not your fault. If you are treating your PA like shit, others have already noticed and the PA won’t need to blast you all over facebook because you are already a douche in the business.

Don’t give up trust and faith in the community as a whole after being wronged. I know for a fact, there are great people and PA’s out there with the desire to help you.

Finger pointing has begun, I can see it already –

“She works for a male author, who is she to say anything about being a dick chaser?” You want to know what I have to say about this? Fuck off. 1) I had no idea who he was or what he looked like. 2) I knew I could do this job. 3) I came recommended by a respected PA in the community. 4) I am damn good at what I do. 5) I am not poaching other authors like the last sausage in the auction. 6) I have had the opportunity to work for HIGH PAYING authors (male ones, too), and turned them down because I actually give a shit about my job. In the actual workplace – HR doesn’t humor or even hire “job jumpers”. They are unreliable, not loyal and shows definite signs of trust issues.  *I’m sure a nerve was struck with someone reading this*

In short – PA’s give PA’s a bad name. They also affect the overall impression of our position. Top being a liability to the great PA’s out there. If you don’t want to do the job, or can’t, move the fuck on. Find an author that needs only pimping done – on second thought, don’t take that job, you aren’t doing that for the dozens of authors you are helping. How about you find someone that only needs beta reading. Better yet, become a beta reader… or just a reader. Stop making the PA’s out there, that work 24/7/365 to support their author, LOOK LIKE THEY ARE THE PROBLEM. I can assure you that they are not. Shame on you!